Posted by: popsgurl44 | February 18, 2009

Fitting In-Is it really worth it?

Have you ever felt like you were flung straight back into the 10th grade? When the cool kids made smart ass remarks about the way you look?

Or been jolted into an aromatic flashback of your dirty roommate from college, whenever you smell trash on a warm day?

Well, that’s what I feel tower living is like some days. I love some parts of living on base. As well as the tower. I just expect more from people.

This island can be beautiful, then there are just a few that ruin it. This goes for anywhere I am sure. Living in this small community should feel safe and comforting.

 Then why do I feel like I was shoved into a drama filled episode of Army Wives? — (In this case we are Marine Wives and if WE had a show let me tell you- One deployment we be a whole series of DRAMA.) That’s enough of that rant – but we all know what I mean- and I love my fellow Marine Wives.

Subject is fitting in- Do I try to fit in here? Do I find common ground with anyone?

The hard part- Once the try part is over comes the trust part- And whooosh I am back in High School gym class wishing I play lacrosse or at the least run to keep up.

You meet people here day in and day out. You start to bump in to faces more familiar as the days go on. You form friendships and acquaintances and yes only a few are worth keeping after this duty station.

But what do you do about the rest? Do you try and be friends when you know you have NOTHING in common but the tower you live in? Do you pick and choose your alliances like it’s a game of 4th grade dodgeball?

 For us military wives it gets so confusing day to day, duty station to duty station.

We are either ridiculed for our beliefs, or dragged in every direction to make sure we get ALL this place has to offer. Sometimes it’s nice to have a friend.  Even if they are far away.  Saying, ” No matter what you’re with the one person you love the most.”

Whether or not your spouse is deployed you know you are doing this for them and it’s all the reason to make you smile.

It’s okay to miss the last duty station and your friends. It’s okay to absolutely love it or hate it here. It’s okay to wish you were somewhere else.  It’s okay to cry when you feel like base housing really sucks. It’s okay to LOVE base housing. We all come from different places in life and different ways in life. We are each individuals. So we all will have individual feelings about each place we go to. It’s Okay.

Our job as friends should be to accept the people around us as they are. Let them know we are there for them. Sometimes kick them in the butt if they are in a rut. Sometimes let them know that they really should cut their lawn and throw out there trash because it’s affecting the balance of nature.

Unfortunately, instead we ignore others feelings, leave trash all over common areas for others to deal with. We kick people while they are down. We tell them things like you’ll never get a good experience if you don’t go out and see everything.

Also unfortunately, living in a tower takes all of the beliefs and bumps sometimes bangs heads together. We find common ground among few, while others talk behind closed doors (or to others) distastefully.

Some people will leave this place with a renewed sense of self worth. While others will in turn leave with just another notch on the belt. No matter where we go drama will always be waiting. We live each day in how WE think we should. But also know that Karma is a Bitch and what ever goes around comes around. When you pump out negativity you’ll always receive it back. When you are truly genuine you’ll get it back just the same.

Sorry for my rant again but we have been dealing with a bunch of pettiness from here and the states. We are witnessing our friends(here and conus) going through the same things as well. So after awhile you just want to let it out. I would love to here comments on this article in particular so email them or just comment me here. Thanks so much. Will post again soon:)



  1. Absolutely nothing has changed in the last 40 years… sounds a lot like my experience in Air Force stations in Biloxi MS and Baker OR… What I did was finally figure out who the real folks were and dealt with them on a one to one basis… the fonies… I just left them alone and guess what… they left me alone. I spent 3 years in Baker Oregon and my closest friends you could count on your fingers…

    Just know that there are people (Beth and me included) that will always love you and your family and support you in all your endeavors…

    Keep working at being your own persons… and soon others will see the genuine you… if they like what the see… they will become your fast friends… if not… so what… there are more than 6 billion people on this earth… you can’t be friends with all of them…
    Take care and God bless

  2. You are a really good writer!! You know I know nothing about being a military wife, but it sounds just like what we go through at the barracks!! Never stop being you! You will quickly find out who you could trust, and who your true friends are…

  3. So Amy….I love you and I agree…the trash does stink!!! LOL. 😀 I told Brandon Im going to buy air fresheners for the hallway so maybe that will help out some…haha. Anywho, Im thankful that you and Paul are here on our floor and have been such genuine friends. Its very hard to come by, and even more rare to keep. I read this article aloud to Brandon and he was giggling the entire time because he agrees with you! Oh yea…when we went to the Aquarium yesterday we bought season passes so that we can come back up there and bring you guys and Mia!!! 😀 We will have you seeing everything on this dang island within a year….LOL.

  4. My husband is in Okinawa right now on a deployment. This is our first deployment and he is training and getting ready for an upcoming deployment to Afghanistan. I look forward to reading more posts on your blog as time passes. =)

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